Sontag's Journal: Furtive Reading for Parents and Lovers

Susan Sontag wrote:

"On Keeping a Journal. Superficial to understand the journal as just a receptacle for one’s private, secret thoughts — like a confidante who is deaf, dumb and illiterate. In the journal I do not just express myself more openly than I could to any person; I create myself.

The journal is a vehicle for my sense of selfhood. It represents me as emotionally and spiritually independent. Therefore (alas) it does not simply record my actual, daily life but rather — in many cases — offers an alternative to it.

There is often a contradiction between the meaning of our actions toward a person and what we say we feel toward that person in a journal. But this does not mean that what we do is shallow, and only what we confess to ourselves is deep. Confessions, I mean sincere confessions of course, can be more shallow than actions. I am thinking now of what I read today (when I went up to 122 Bd. St-G to check for her mail) in H’s journal about me — that curt, unfair, uncharitable assessment of me which concludes by her saying that she really doesn’t like me but my passion for her is acceptable and opportune. God knows it hurts, and I feel indignant and humiliated. We rarely do know what people think of us (or, rather, think they think of us).. . .Do I feel guilty about reading what was not intended for my eyes? No. One of the main (social) functions of a journal or diary is precisely to be read furtively by other people, the people (like parents + lovers) about whom one has been cruelly honest only in the journal. Will H. ever read this?"

-From The New York Times article On Self, published September 10, 2006

Sontag died December 28, 2004.  I am reading her journals and wonder if H. ever did.

Flying with CS6

“Photoshop is a perfect bridge for me between traditional painting and the digital world. I use it without any extra plug-ins or fancy filters. Photoshop is definitely a tool that gives you an amazing feeling of creative freedom. I can compare using it to the freedom of movement found when flying a plane.”
-Jarek Kubicki from Spotlight on Jarek Kubicki where you can see his amazing images created in PS6.  Kubicki's web site is here. 

Vectograph

Art and Desire

"The text you write must prove to me that it desires me. This proof exists: it is writing. Writing is: the science of the various blisses of language, its Kama Sutra (this science has but one treatise: writing itself).”
- Roland Barthes, The Pleasure of the Text

On some level I suspect that all successful art has this component of evoking the feeling of being desired. The viewer feels wanted and pulled in through experiencing the art. Perhaps a strange concept, but worth pondering. I kind of "get" it. Barthes' words desire me, and I will give them time by pondering the meaning.

Edgar Allan Poe's words desire me:

"Sometimes I'm terrified
of my heart; of its constant
hunger for whatever it is
it wants. The way it stops
and starts."

Barthes again:

“I am interested in language because it wounds or seduces me.”
-Roland Barthes, The Pleasure of the Text

The Mission: Gabriel's Obo and The Fall by Yo-Yo Ma wound and desire me. So does Cinema Paradiso: Looking for You from Giuseppe Tornatore Suite and Giuseppe Tornatore Suite: Malena and Philip Glass' Satyagraha: Evening Song. I suspect that music which touches me in a sensate way and which I have described for years as "so beautiful it hurts" is music that wounds and desires me.

And visual art? Oh my, so many works of color, texture, line, depth give me a feeling of being seduced and desired.  I cannot begin to name them all, but Starry Night by van Gogh not only seduces and desires me, it owns a piece of my heart.  Remember?

In the same vein, Barthes said:

“Language is a skin: I rub my language against the other. It is as if I had words instead of fingers, or fingers at the tip of my words. My language trembles with desire.”

Do colors tremble with desire?  I think so.  Greens and blues whisper to each other and merge into the brilliance of turquoise.  Lines flirt until they connect or seductively avoid. Textures smile and wink when they "work together" in art. 

What art desires you? Have any works wounded or seduced you lately?

For Mama

Design

According to Douglas Harper's Online Etymology Dictionary

design (v.)

1540s, from L. designare "mark out, devise, choose, designate, appoint," from de- "out" (see de-) + signare "to mark," from signum "a mark, sign" (see sign (n.)). Originally in English with the meaning now attached to designate; many modern uses of design are metaphoric extensions. As a noun, from 1580s, from M.Fr. desseign.

Secret Smiles and Tattoos

I am not really a person one would expect to have a tattoo. But, if I did have one, I think I would like the wave symbol above my outer right ankle or hidden above my right hip joint. Of course this symbol has great meaning for me and would remind me of several concepts I never want to forget. I am sure of that. It is not, however, likely to happen since I am something of a body image purist, not to mention commitment phobic. I also don't care for pain and irrevocable decisions. Still... it is a fun creative exercise to contemplate what lies at the seat of the soul and imagine a visual symbol to physically carry like a nudge, reminder or a secret smile. What image would represent your secret smile?

Just Drawing What You See

I started reading the Creative License by Danny Gregory, and I am encouraged to sketch, sketch, sketch whatever is in my line of vision. Here is a beloved old chair in the corner of my livingroom. I made this chair sketch in Sketch Club on my iPad1. It seems that Brushes is often considered the top art app for iPad (e.g. Mac/Life recently described Brushes as the app that has "pretty much owned the 'art on iPad' niche.") True, I don't doubt, but it is not my cup of tea. Sketch Club is one of my favorites, for particular purposes such as graphic sketching. ArtRage is my top pick for serious painting due to texture and the ability to mix paint. Here is a thumbs up for a terrific little app with some powerful features - much more than a simple sketch can convey. Let me say, however, I have not participated in the club sharing feature of this app. It would probably be fun, but I haven't had the time in the last year. Maybe I will go there next.

Making Waves 2: Breathlessness (A Clibe Experiment)

Scroll right on the bar beneath the image to be able to click, open and flip the pages of the journal.

One Perfect Place

I am a fan of Vern Yip whose HGTV Urban Urban Oasis 2011 caught my eye.  Here is a photo of my favorite design which would be the one perfect place for me:

More views panning the condo can be seen here.