Water Seeking It's Own Level

In one of my favorite new blogs, Getting Past Your Past, psychologist/lawyer/certified grief counselor Susan J. Elliot offers these words of wisdom in a post entitled Finishing Unfinished Business:

"As I said in the 'Putting the Inventories to Work' post, the key truth to relationships is that water seeks its own level. If we want to know what is missing in us, what is lacking in us, what unfinished business we have, what our inner struggles are, we need not look further than the person we are involved with. If we listen carefully and look closely, usually our choice of mates will tell us what we need to know about ourselves and the work we need to do. As we grow and change, our choice of mate continues to reflect what we still need to work on. By looking at the partners we have been choosing, we can see what in ourselves need work."

Is this what Mama meant by "birds or a feather flock together"?  I don't know, but it reminds me of something said in AA about water seeking its own level and how addicts sink lower and lower and so does the quality of their friends and acquaintences.  The delusional guy on the next bar stool becomes a sage because he approves of my drinking, laughs at my jokes and never suggests that I should go home and take responsibility.  In fact, he agrees that the whole world is to blame for this mess of a life I have made.  But despite all his brilliance, he doesn't break the fall when I slide off my stool.

One of the best posts at Elliot's blog is Want Real Love?  Ten Things To Think About.  This should be printed, kept on your/my body and read daily by everyone (especially me).  Why everyone?  Because I don't think one percent of the population gets what real love is, and that has included me for most of my life.  Despite all the needy crap we call love, it really isn't in style.  This blog entry begins with the following quotation:

"My God, these folks don’t know how to love - that’s why they love so easily" by David Herbert Lawrence.  The post ends with Elliot's admonition: 

"If people understood what real love entailed they would be less inclined to go in and out of relationships where they will experience anything but..."

I can't wait until Elliot's book (Getting Past Your Breakup: How to Turn a Devastating Loss into the Best Thing That Ever Happened to You) is published!  Love may not be in style, but plain old meanness is.  Any way to overcome the latest meanness given or received ought to be a rocking good read.