For Pity's Sake

"I am sure that if the devil existed, he would want us to feel very sorry for him."

~ From "The Sociopath Next Door", by Martha Stout, Ph.D.

I have never cared much for people who want me to feel sorry for them.   I want them to buck up, grow up and accept the fact that no one in life gets all they want or feel like they deserve.  You know the type.  They never got a fair shake, and they seek out the kind hearted like heat seeking missiles.

Ms. Stout knows the lure of the sociopath (aka the psychopath) and hopes to educate the rest of us to protect ourselves.  There are many characteristics one might see, but the best clue that you are dealing with a person with no conscience is a person seeking your pity:

"...the best clue is, of all things, the pity play.  The most reliable sign, the most universal behavior of unscrupulous people is not directed, as one might imagine, at our fearfulness.  It is, perversely, an appeal to our sympathy...More than admiration - more even than fear - pity from good people is carte blanche.  When we pity, we are, at least for the moment, defenseless..."

Until sociopaths come with warning labels, Ms. Stout recommends:

"When deciding whom to trust, bear in mind that the combination of consistently bad or egregiously inadequate behavior with frequent plays for your pity is as close to a warning mark on a conscienceless person's forehead as you will ever be given."