May the Light of the World continue to overlay the rust of my life and once more transform ruin into vibrant glitter.

I recently explored a word:  Omnivalence.  In doing so I came across a writer, John Briggs, of Western Connecticut State University, whose writing made me feel like I had found a pool of water after a tremendous thirst.  His article entitled "Nuance and Omnivalence in the Creative Mind" has me thinking about creativity, curiosity, persistence and the search for truth.  It is the stuff of brilliant glitter. 

The concept of omnivalence is hard to define.  Rather than actually define the term, Briggs seems to compare the term to ambivalence to thrash out its meaning and significance to the creative process.  It is something like the mandorla where light and dark overlap: 

"Evidently, contradictory feelings which we might be inclined to identify as conflictual ambivalence, are, on closer examination, something else. Such feelings seem to be experienced by creators not as ambivalent conflict, but as possibilities, potentials, mystery, openness. Omnivalence might be a better term, from the Latin omni, meaning 'affects all things,' and related to ops 'wealth,' plus valence or 'strength.' (Briggs & McCluskey, 1989). When omnivalence occurs there is an emotion-perception-cognition of a powerful, global wealth in the moment, a wealth in which there may be many different, even contrary, elements, each equally strong but all fundamentally indistinguishable from each other so that even the contrary elements are really a single effect eliciting an impression that somehow 'all of it,'(omni) 'the whole world,' is in this moment. We might associate the creator's experience of omnivalence both with a feeling of multi-valence and omni-presence. It is similar in some ways to ambivalence but quite unlike it as well because in ambivalence the psyche is divided between two states of mind competing for dominance. In omnivalence there is only one encompassing state containing somehow many states overlapped and not in competition....."

Briggs says of perhaps the greatest creative genius in modern history:

"In 1953, Albert Einstein, the quintessential genius, declared that 'I know quite certainly that I myself have no special talent' beyond 'curiosity, obsession, and dogged endurance...' (Greenberg, 1979, p. 216).  Einstein's assertion challenges a central myth about creative genius - that it is inborn talent.  Taken together with a story Einstein told on this 74th birthday, it also offers a window into an alternative explanation for the activity of high-level creative work."

Curiosity, obsession, and dogged endurance.  Wow.  I like that.  Finally I have found someone with whom I agree, and, lo, it is Einstein himself!  He argues against the myth - which I think is born of snobbery and limitation -  that creativity is inborn or a product of madness, replacing the myth with a practical explanation that the creative endeavour is one born of curiosity, obsession, and dogged endurance.  I have long known that any creativity I exhibit is born of a great deal of hard work that I cannot help but perform when the impulse hits.  The impulse, the muse, the curiosity that must be satisfied, the spirit that will not be quinched, a determination that can be pretty irritating.  I could go on.

Einstein told a story of a curiosity he experience when he was five years old and sick in bed.  His father brought him a magnetic compass.  He was bewitched by the needle that turned north no matter what.  This curiosity surrounding the compass "stimulated the young Einstein to the realization that 'something deeply hidden had to be behind things' (Clark, 1971, p. 29), and was a factor that led Einstein "to work on relativity involving paradoxes connected with the electromagnetic waves of light traveling through a putative invisible ether..."  Who would ever suspect that a compass given as a toy combined with a child's curiosity would lead to the exploration of "hidden variables" operating behind quantum theory. 

Creative persons know that hidden variables operate behind everything, to include the human heart and mind.  Only when we are willing to quit "knowing" and explore those hidden variables are we willing to step up to a creative exchange of fantasy for the brilliant glitter of truth.  To me this is illumination.  We ask for illumination, but I'm not sure we really want it because it can hurt so bad while it hurts so good.  Whichever way it hurts, it does thrill.  But this craving curiosity has to be great enough to overpower fear or we will stay in the fantasy of darkness through lies, laziness and psychological defenses that numb and destroy us bit by bit over time.

Instead...may the Light of the World continue to overlay the rust of my life and once more transform ruin into vibrant glitter.

Light transforms so that even rust glitters when overlayed with light. My wish expressed as prayer and made visible in image is that the Light of the World will continue to overlay the rust of my life and once more transform ruin into vibrant glitter.

The "candle" in this image is a mirror image of the word Lux Mundi.

Histrionic Personality Disorder (HPD) is usually a girl thing.  These are the attention seeking, lying, manipulative, Drama Queens of the world who inappropriately sexualize relationships, wallow in emotion and work you like a change machine.  

In action histrionics can look like psychopaths.  They invented emotional manipulation and can and will lie to get what they want.  Self-centered, they take in stride stunts that would induce normal people to crawl in caves to hide from the pain of embarrassment.  They take no responsibility, claim they are victims and blame others for the soap operas they script.  Outgoing, charming and seductive, histrionics can work a crowd.  They invented "love at first sight" which creates great theatrics. 

Their motto is "so much attention, so little time" as they gregariously bounce back to glad-handing after dusting themselves off from their latest train wreck.  Destroyed lives lay in their wake as they script anyone but themselves as the blame for all the bodies.  They talk loud to draw attention to themselves, kiss ass, flirt and flatter, and, subsequently, despite potential social skills, often are ostracized for uncomfortable/inappropriate behavior.    

But here is where histrionics part ways with psychopaths.  They are gullible, shallow, needy, make rash decisions, and either fake or exaggerate illnesses.  Psychopaths are not necessarily people of high intelligence, but they are less needy, less physically ill, cooler and less bumbling than histrionics.  Tougher somehow and less likely to feign regret.

But are these personality disorders the same thing, just dressed differently according to gender?

According to Personality Disorders in Modern Life by Theodore Millon, Carrie M. Millon, Sarah Meagher, Seth Grossman and Rowena Ramnath "Some theorists have hypothesized that histrionic personality disorder and anitsocial personality disorder (psychopathy) are actually 'expressions of the same latent disposition' (Hamburger, Lilienfeld, & Hogben, 1996, p. 52).

What we observe superficially are only the gender-stereotyped behaviors of the same underlying pathology. As Widiger and Spitzer (1991) argue, the differences we see in the distribution of personality disorders may be due to etiological factors such as different sex hormones that influence the final expression of pathology. Histrionic and antisocial personalities may be an example of such an effect. They may both represent expressions of the same pathology, and we are misconceptualizing them as two separate entities because their superficial expressions (the symptoms they outwardly express) are different."

What an interesting proposition, and what a break for bad girls.  The psychopath is more readily revealed; the histrionic more readily pitied.  While they both deliver a bite that kills.  If this is true we might see histrionics and psychopaths as caricatures of covert aggressive gender stereotypes.  Boys learn to win to get power.  Girls learn to seduce someone into taking care of them which is a different kind of power.  Each accomplishes the traditional gender objective through the same destructive means, just packaged according to gender.  You might say the psychopath is fake/dangerous masculine; the histrionic is fake/dangerous feminine.  We don't see the evil until it is too late because the delivery system suits our expectations.  The psychopath leads us into hell as a masculine force in control; the histrionic packs us a lunch of self-destruction as mother earth.  

I can see how gender roles might play out in the diagnostic process.  Here is an example.  In a probable diagnosis of histrionics, Dr. Joseph M. Carver at Counselling Resource evaluated some damaging traits packaged in stereotypical female behavior: 

"I have a 35 (could be 37: she changes her age frequently) year old sister (not by blood, but religion) that is a very skillful liar. In fact, she makes false statements and changes true stories into lies regularly. When anyone confronts her on the false statements made she starts cleaning the floor. Her children say that she is always cleaning the floors and walls for hours whenever she gets angry. If she is confronted by more than one person about false statements she pretends to begin bleeding from the nose, but I have yet to see blood."

We need to know more about character and mood disorders.  Gratefully a good body of literature is now available about psychopaths, and comprehension of motivation strains the imagination.  But our knowledge needs to go deeper to better decipher the overlap and co-morbidity of abusive personalities.  One can be strangled just as easily by a pink bow as by one that is blue.  

"Despite all of these inner fears of removing the mask, it should be clear that when someone loves your personality and merely accepts you for the roles you are playing - it is not the real 'You' who are receiving the benefit of this acceptance.  There is always the fear of failure and the tensions created due to not being yourself fully at all times.  Nevertheless, as hard as it may seem for some to believe, there does exist a love in which one can love 'You' directly.  That is, one can love 'You' regardless of how you look, what you say, or what you do.  When a person loves 'You,' they understand the meaninglessness of how you externally express yourself.  It becomes a standing game between you to watch your lower selves 'do their thing,' while a part of you remains detached, winking at one another in the midst of the worldly melodrama.  This is true acceptance.  With it comes the absolute sense of freedom in knowing that the relationship is an eternal one.  There is nothing that can come between you, because you know each other as you really are."~Michael A. Singer from Three Essays on Universal Law, The Laws of Karma, Will and Love

It is a beautiful day in Opelika.  The sky is blue, the sun at an autumn angle, and the dogwoods are beginning to change ever so slightly.  I am not completely up to speed today, but I found the speed to take my dogs for a walk.  First Jessie, then Abby, and, finally, Wolf.  

Jessie ran around like a nervous nelly marking everything he saw.  Abby, the least disciplined of all the dogs, walked politely next to me and stopped before crossing streets.  Wolf, the failing Alpha Dog who is probably 17 years old, made it only around the block on which the house sits, his black coat looking so rusty in the sun, his sweet little tail wagging, panting and easing along.  As we walked side by side I thought "remember this, remember this, don't ever forget how this feels."

I believe that loss teaches you to treasure the smallest of moments.  You never know with a dog Wolf's age if it's your last walk together, so such an ordinary event becomes...yes...a sacred moment. 

Unexpected loss is harder to bear.  One cannot help but struggle to remember the last walk. 

For several years Being Dead Is No Excuse by Gayden Metcalfe and Charlotte Hays has been a staple in Southern homes.  Why?  Because we recognize ourselves in the stories.  We take funerals very seriously and put on the dog with great old Southern recipes like those included in this book.  I was particularly fond of the comparison of Episcopal and Methodist funerals Down South and found hilarious truths in the descriptions.  I also found the perfect coconut cake recipe there which happens to be my Mama's favorite.   

I am thrilled to report that Metcalfe and Hays have moved from funerals to weddings with Somebody is going to die if Lilly Beth doesn't catch that bouquet.  I haven't read it yet, having only found it today in Atlanta.  But if it is anywhere near as good as Being Dead, I have great expectations of  laughs and more good recipes to come.  

Nothing...but nothing...beats a good laugh, a good recipe and "doing thoughtfulness right" in the South.

As director of exhibitions for Epsicopal Church & Visual Arts (ECVA) I want to share the latest call with you.  Traditionally the Advent exhibition has been one of the most beautiful exhibitions we have all year, and it was during Advent 2001 that I discovered and first submitted work for the ECVA exhibition entitled Out of Darkness.  It was a beautiful time of my life when I was discovering the Episcopal Church and all its lovely Advent tradtions. 

I created the image above as a header for the call.  The cross is one I found at an antique shop years ago and bought for almost nothing.  I wish you could see the beautiful natural designs on it - it reminds me so much of a celtic theme of birds and nature and makes me think of St. Francis' Canticle of the Sun (All Creatures of Our God and King).  I occasionally wore this cross on a short black velvet ribbon for awhile until I gave it to my Sweetie to be used as a verger's cross.  It reminds me of many happy times when light flooded our life and nave; it is an appropriate symbol of the warmth of Advent or any time our souls call for Light:

" I am the light of the world. If any man follow me, he shall not walk in darkness but shall have the light of life ." John 8:12

Advent, the beginning of the church year, occurs during the darkest days of Winter when the lush beauty of nature has disappeared and our souls long for warmth. During this season we prepare for the coming of Light from Light through treasured rituals of greening naves, lighting advent candles, lessons and carols, reflection and meditation. These Advent traditions serve as symbols for our search in darkness for the mystery of life-giving light.

How do we find and manifest that light? Lux Mundi, the Light of the World .
ECVA calls for images that give vision to longing for light in the darkness and growing anticipation of the birth of Christ.

How do we find this light in our inner landscapes? How is His light manifested in your heart? During this season of darkness how do you imagine the coming light of life for all to see?

Exhibition Publication Date: November 30, 2008
Submissions Deadline: November 1, 2008